Square Eyes

Television Reviews

Movie of the week, Bringing Up Baby, ABC, Sat, 10.20pm

This Howard Hawks screwball comedy classic, now 65-years-old, speaks of a gentler time, when comedy, like the rest of the planet, was a kinder place. Cary Grant plays an absent-minded dinosaur boffin caring for a pet leopard named Baby. Katherine Hepburn's the loopy heiress stalking him. He's about to be married, but she leads him astray in the funniest ways. The pair have an infectiously rollicking time in this madcap romp.

Martha's New Coat, SBS, Fri, 8.30pm

Remember when Bryan Brown's missus, Rachel Ward, spent a couple of weeks in Lismore working with kids on telling their stories on film. Their inspiration resulted in this hour-long drama about rural kids and their boredom and despair. Their daughter, Matilda, plays a disappointed kid on her 15th birthday, facing few options but hanging around and having skirmishes with the Aboriginal kids.

Platoon, Prime, Fri, 9.30pm

Charlie Sheen plays a well-meaning lad who volunteers for Vietnam to be 'real'. But his reality not only includes the shadow of death, but the brutal battle between Tom Berenger and Willem Dafoe for the soul of the troops. Oliver Stone delivers one of his best films and one of the best about Vietnam.

World Cup Rugby: Australia v Romania, Prime, Sat, 4pm

Winger Wendell Sailor gets the chance to try beat Matthew Hayden's 380 against Zimbabwe in what should be a one-sided game.

The Iron Chef, SBS, Sat, 7.30pm

One of those lunatic Japanese game shows, worth watching at least once to say you've done it. Four chefs cook off using a secret ingredient (which, alas, is not Nigella Lawson nude).

Coyote Ugly, Prime, Sun, 8.30pm

This mindless perve fest has few redeeming features, except (so the ladies tell me) for Aussie actor Adam (Bootmen) Garcia as the indifferent, fashion conscious chef. The bar of the title borders on a lap top dancing venue. It's soft porn as fluffy spectacle. Keep away from teenage children and jealous partners.

Meet the Parents, NBN, Sun, 8.30pm

Any lad who's faced hostile parents will empathise with this very funny comedy. Robert de Niro plays the spooky, overly protective dad with a basement full of lie detector equipment. Ben Stiller's the hapless lad (with the surname Focker) planning to propose to his gal (Teri Polo). His anxiety only makes things worse, and the harder he tries the more goes wrong.

James Hewitt: Confessions of a Cad, ABC, Mon, 9.30pm

What sort of wanker would allow himself to be interviewed smoking a pipe in the bubble bath? Pommy toff James Hewitt, former Lady Di lover and complete prat. He's one of the most hated blokes in England and it's easy to see why.

The Other Final, ABC, Thurs, 10pm

While Brazil was busy winning the Soccer World Cup last year, the two worst teams in the world, Bhutan and Montserrat, faced off to decide who was the true wooden spooner. This heartwarming doco follows the hopes and fates of two very different cultures, miles away from the corporate BS.