Shaggy Dog Comments...
The long wait was over for Star Wars buffs this week, when the Australian Bureau of Statistics announced that 0.37 per cent, or 70,509 people, had written that their religion was Jedi or a Jedi-related on last year's census form. You may remember that an email was doing the rounds last year: "If there are enough people in the country, about 10,000, who put down the same religion, it becomes a fully recognised and legal religion," the email said. They missed out anyway. A spokesthingy for the Bureau's number crunchers said Jedi answers were categorised as 'not defined' but community interest (the Obe Wannabes in our office kept complaining it was a conspiracy) led them to go back and count how many people really believed in Wookies. The optional religious question was included because aside from the government, religious organisations are the biggest providers of community services, including education, hospitals, and aged care facilities. We're looking forward to the Jedi providing Work for the Light Sabre programs.
Speaking of the Government, further proof that they like to reach for the stick rather than the carrot emerged this week when the Minister for Kiddies, Larry Anthony, floated plans to punish new parents by taking away their family payment unless they attended courses or complete other activities to improve their parenting. The same day he was busy putting out press releases about how you could take dad to Dreamworld for free for Fathers Day - a brilliant idea given that the price of entry for a family would just about buy you a Pacific Island. And since there are generations of families who have not worked, we're not sure how families are supposed to scrape the money together for a theme park adventure. But warming to his topic, Mr Anthony declared "You need a licence to own a dog, you need a licence to catch a fish; there's no licence to become a parent." So true. But to get a fishing licence all you need to do is pay the government money. To get a dog licence, all you need to do is pay local government money. So we're starting to wonder if a parent licence would be just another nice little earner for government.
The Echo has some shocking typos and spelling mistakes from time to time. But it's good to see it also happens to the best of them. On Monday, the national broadsheet The Australian, wrote about the TV show All Aussie Adventures, describing it as having "self-defecating humour". We nearly pissed ourselves laughing when we read that.
Two years after The Greatest Games Ever™ the amazing 74,000 volunteers who helped out at the Sydney Olympics have been invited to head to Homebush on Sunday, September 15, for the unveiling of Games Memories - the special dedication of a unique 'forest' of 480 poles featuring the names of all the volunteers. The day will feature free entertainment and other celebrations as part of an open day at Sydney Olympic Park.
For more on the full program call 9714 7255 or visit www.sydneyolympicpark.com.au
Taswegian Greg Barns, who was thrown out of the Libs for being a little too soft (he's since joined the Democrats, which proves he was actually mad), posed the following question on crikey.com.au to mark the first anniversary of the Tampa crisis: Who said "People should listen to us when we say, again and again: we determine the order at our border! And we ensure that it is maintained, for good reasons. Whoever wants to traverse [our] border needs permission. Otherwise, stay away from our border! I know, ladies and gentlemen, it sounds hard. And will perhaps even be interpreted by some of you as 'inhumane'. But what is 'humane' and what is 'inhumane'?"
Was it: (a) Phillip Ruddock? (b) John Howard? or (c) Karl-Eduard von Schnitzler?
The correct answer is "c". Schnitzler was chief propagandist for the East German secret police, the Stasi. He said it in 1965 after East German border guards had shot two people trying to escape over the Berlin Wall. We suspect he was a bit of a bleeding heart do-gooder.
One more loony US lawsuit from the Whiplash Awards (courtesy of Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch - www.mlaw.org): John Parker made a pit stop at a McDonald's drive-thru. After wedging his chocolate milkshake between his legs and putting a burger and fries on the seat next to him, he headed back onto the road. When Parker leaned over to reach for his fries he inadvertently squeezed his legs together, causing the cold shake to leap out of its cup and onto his lap. A stunned Parker then ploughed his car into the vehicle in front of him. William Bailey, who was at the receiving end of Parker's mishap, was not sympathetic. He sued Parker and McDonald's, claiming that the fast-food franchise neglected to warn customers of the dangers of eating and driving. The judge wasn't stirred, never mind shaken, by Bailey's claim. He dismissed his suit; however, he also denied McDonald's request that Bailey reimburse them for their $10,000 in attorney's fees. In the judges words, Bailey was "creative and imaginative, and shouldn't be penalised for that".
 Knowing how it feels, we have a soft spot for lost dog stories. Cathie Patterson contacted us this week because her 11-year-old daughter, Christie (pictured) is heart-broken after her good mate Jack went missing in Goonellabah recently. They've looked for Jack, a Jack Russell, everywhere, to no avail, and are hoping that someone is taking care of him, but doesn't know who his real owners are. The Pattersons are moving away next week and really want Jack to join them. If you've seen him, please give Shaggy a call on 6622 2888 and we'll pass the message on. Jack is microchipped, so authorities can check if he's the top dog.
|
