Issue 812

Shaggy Dog Comments...

If like Shaggy you're sick of getting up in the dark at 6.30am, then relief comes this Saturday night when daylight savings ends. Don't forget to set your clock back an hour before going to be bed. While it might be dark before we get home from work now, at least there'll be light to start the day.

Speaking of the Easter weekend, the office will be closed from Friday until Tuesday. Have a happy Easter and please take care on the roads.

The monthly meeting of water authority Rous Water was a popular show last Wednesday. Normally it's just the councillors and staff, with only a passing cleaner to observe proceedings, but last week Shaggy, Another Newspaper, and even a chap from the telly turned up, along with Ballina mayor Peter Moore and a couple of his councillors, plus Lismore councillors and residents concerned about the recent ruckus over Rous' responsibilities (see story). So after assuring everyone everything was fine and they knew what they were doing, what was the first item on the agenda? Byron councillor Richard Staples hasn't been turning up to meetings, so his position on Rous fell vacant. But there was a problem. The minutes of previous meetings showed that he offered his apologies to the November meeting and attended the December meeting. But he didn't do either. Nevertheless, the minutes were adopted. Rous GM Paul O'Sullivan discovered the error when he was reviewing the case. The meeting then spent 10 minutes debating whether it should 'acknowledge the error'. They eventually agreed 6-2. Lismore councillor John Crowther, who has been to more meetings than most of us have had hot dinners, summed it up when he said 'this is the most unusual thing I've seen in my experience in local government'. But fear not, you're in good hands.

It's a funny thing, but Lismore's fantastic climate didn't come up as an issue during Tuesday's meeting to discuss how to improve residential property sales in Lismore. But then the meeting was held outside the council chambers because the fierce storm which ripped through the city a couple of hours beforehand had blacked out Lismore Council chambers. The lights came back on just as the last of the sunlight went out, but it was a pleasant night, despite the dramatic lightning overhead, and the meeting continued outdoors for another hour.

If you bump into someone named Cohen or Goldberg in the next couple of days, it might be appropriate to wish them a happy Pesach or Passover. The high point of the Jewish religious calendar coincides with Easter this year and on Good Friday, Jews will mark the occasion with Seder, a two day festival of liberation and freedom, and a time for reflection on human oppression and discrimination in the modern world. Of course the world's most famous Jew, Jesus, celebrated communion with his disciples during a Seder feast. But whatever your religion, a prayer for peace might be in order.

With the long weekend calling and NORPA's new show Mr Barbeque opening in a fortnight, we thought it appropriate to pass on this piece of wisdom about zen and the art of chargrilling, which has been doing the email rounds recently. It's called The Tong-Master. The author is unknown.(Correction 15/04/2004 - The author is Danny Katz) Now pay attention grasshopper.

Griff was at the barbecue and Joel was at the barbecue and I was at the barbecue; three men standing around a barbecue, sipping beer, staring at sausages, rolling them backwards and forwards, never leaving them alone. We didn't know why we were at the barbecue; we were just drawn there like moths to a flame. The barbecue was a powerful gravitational force, a man-magnet.

Joel said the thin ones could use a turn, I said yeah I reckon the thin ones could use a turn, Griff said yeah they really need a turn; it was a unanimous turning decision.

Griff was the Tong-Master, a true artist, he gave a couple of practice snaps of his long silver tongs, SNAP SNAP, before moving in, prodding, teasing, and with an elegant flick of his wrist, rolling them onto their little backs. A lesser tong-man would've flicked too hard; the sausages would've gone full circle, back to where they started. Nice, I said. The others went yeah.

Kevin was passing us, he heard the siren-song- sizzle of the snags, the barbecue was calling, beckoning, Kevinnnnn. Come. He stuck his head in and said any room? We said yeah and began the barbecue shuffle; Griff shuffled to the left, Joel shuffled to the left, I shuffled to the left, Kevin slipped in beside me, we sipped our beer. Now there were four of us staring at sausages, and Griff gave me the nod, my cue.

I was second-in-command, and I had to take the raw sausages out of the plastic bag and lay them on the barbecue; not too close together, not too far apart, curl them into each other's bodies like lovers -fat ones, thin ones, herbed and continental. The chipolatas were tiny, they could easily slip down between the grill, falling into the molten hot-bead-netherworld below. Carefully I laid them sideways ACROSS the grill, clever thinking. Griff snapped his tongs with approval; there was no greater barbecue honour.

P.J. came along, he said looking good, looking good -the irresistible lure of the barbecue had pulled him in too. We said yeah and did the shuffle, left, left, left, left, he slipped in beside Kevin, we sipped our beer.

Five men, lots of sausages. Joel was the Fork-pronger; he had the fork that pronged the tough hides of the Bavarian bratwursts and he showed a lot of promise. Stabbing away eagerly, leaving perfect little vampire holes up and down the casing. P.J. was shaking his head, he said I reckon they cook better if you don't poke them.

There was a long silence, you could have heard a chipolata drop, and this newcomer was a rabble-rouser, bringing in his crazy ideas from outside. He didn't understand the hierarchy; first the Tong-master, then the Sausage-layer, then the Fork-pronger -and everyone below was just a watcher.Maybe eventually they'll move up the ladder, but for now - don't rock the Weber.

Dianne popped her head in; hmmm, smells good, she said. She was trying to jostle into the circle; we closed ranks, pulling our heads down and our shoulders in, mumbling yeah yeah yeah, but making no room for her. She was keen, going round to the far side of the barbecue, heading for the only available space . . . the gap in the circle where all the smoke and ashes blew. Nobody could survive the gap; Dianne was going to try. She stood there stubbornly, smoke blinding her eyes, ashes filling her nostrils, sausage fat spattering all over her arms and face. Until she couldn't take it anymore, she gave up, backed off.

Kevin waited till she was gone and sipped his beer. We sipped our beer, yeah. Griff handed me his tongs. I looked at him and he nodded. I knew what was happening, I'd waited a long time for this moment - the abdication. The tongs weighed heavy in my hands, firm in my grip - was I ready for the responsibility? Yes, I was. I held them up high and they glinted in the sun.

Don't forget to turn the thin ones Griff said as he walked away from the barbecue, disappearing toward the house. Yeah I called back, I will, I will.

I snapped them twice, SNAP SNAP, before moving in, prodding, teasing, and with an elegant flick of my wrist, rolling them back onto their little bellies. I was a natural, I was the TONG-MASTER. But only until Griff got back from the toilet.

We've been a little tardy in our promise to bring you the wisdom of Steve Wright. This week's thought is:

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Traditional Welcome to New Students

Students in the Indigenous Studies Course at Southern Cross University were welcomed to the course by a display of traditional dancing by the The Bundjulung Yowah Dance group last Thursday.

Uncle Eric Walker welcomed the assembled crowd to Bundjulung land.

'My people are a spiritual, feeling culture. This school is a starting point for hope and peace. If we can stand together as a people I believe we will have justice at the end,' Uncle Eric said.

'I grew up learning these traditional dances - and we're going back a long way. To see my brother singing there brings tears to my eyes; tears of joy. I hope with these young people here, this will continue to happen,' he said.