Shaggy Dog Comments...

Issue 728

We're hoping the 'sacred' waters sold by the Byron Bay-based 'cult' Infinity Forms of Yellow Remember offer a cure for laughter. We've been wetting our pants ever since NSW Fair Trading Minister John Watkins warned consumers not to be ripped off by them hawking dodgy 'healing' goodies. These oh-so-Byron fruit loops take their name from the belief that 'the vibration of the earth realm is yellow along with an infinity of other yellow realms'. No we don't have a clue what they're on about either. But fear not! Help is at hand - for only US$55 (or more if you have more money than brains)! A fool and his money will soon be parted for a 50ml plastic vial of special 'Healing Elixir' (aka spring water), which has been charged with 'special vibrations' (stop laughing, THIS IS SERIOUS!). Its effect, to quote from the website, is 'an end to the destiny of suffering and an ultimate lifting to the blissful realm of the immortal destiny. The river of life that the waters are is articulated to dissolve the particular karmas of any and every suffering mortal.' A side effect seems to be a particularly tortured prolix.

We're hoping the 'sacred' waters sold by the Byron Bay-based 'cult' Infinity Forms of Yellow Remember offer a cure for laughter.

Showing a predilection for Lewis Carroll, Tin Tin, Aussie bands and art house movies, our good buddies at Infinity offer 250 different types of the special water, with names like 'After the White Rabbit', 'Thru a glass darkly', 'Mental as Anything', 'Kiss of the Spiderwoman', 'They shoot horses don't they' and 'Katzenjammer Kaos'. There are dozens more, like 'Puff the Magic Dragon' (and kids from the '60s all know what's in that water...) which left us in stitches and suggest that as well as taking your money, they're also taking the piss.

If the waters don't do the job, you can hand over more readies for pendants ($200-$3,000), wands you can wave over a coffee to get rid of the caffeine ($500) and the closest thing we've ever seen to a wigwam-for-a-gooses-bridle - Infinity calls it 'the Saturn Bubbler' (pictured) - for a bargain -priced $16,500.

Infinity is led by a Tasmanian (which may explain things). His mum called him Gerald Attrill, but nowadays, ensconced in Tyalgum, he prefers to be called Jesse O'My Heart. Apparently he reckons he's a modern-day alchemist. Methinks he has more in common with Christopher Skase and Jodee Rich. As the Fair Trading Minister recommends: 'Just say no!'

But the other important question we want answered is where the rest of the media is going to buy their American dollars. The website flogs the water for US$55, but the Minister and the media have been saying it costs around A$80. By our calculations of the current exchange rate, you'd be lucky to get change from A$110.

While half-wit corporate show ponies like Brad Keeling and Jodie Rich from the failed One.Tel handed themselves $7 million for doing stuff all, the five directors of local financiers Mayne Investments have shown the way when it comes to ethical behaviour. Mayne Investments has about $110 million under management, which it loans to local developers and business owners. For many years the directors, Pat Rummery, Barry Wappett, Michael Shay, Kevin McGregor and Kevin Dalton, didn't even take fees for their work. Nowadays they take a nominal amount, but out of that money, they created a charitable foundation to assist local charities and support the community. The lads recently met and decided to hand out $50,000. Summerland House and the Rescue Helicopter will both receive $20,000, while Lismore Challenge and Camp Quality will receive $5,000 each. This generous act of corporate philanthropy is a far cry from the short-term greed of the city high-flyers. Good on you boys, you done good.

Vale Katherine Graham, an extraordinary woman and Patron Saint of journalists. She died after a fall in the USA on the weekend. She was 84. Who is she? ask younger readers. Well Katie's dad owned a paper (not unlike The Echo...) called the Washington Post. She described herself as a door-mat wife and played hostess while her husband ran the paper. When he committed suicide in 1963, Katie stepped up and took control of the paper becoming the first woman CEO of a major company. But as publisher, she effectively went to war with the White House over Vietnam and Watergate, playing a key role in the end of the Nixon presidency. She backed her journalists to the hilt, especially when Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein uncovered the Watergate scandal. Not only was she a brave woman, she also put principle before profit to expose the truth.

In a move that will have Charles Schultz glad that he's dead, fast food floggers McDonalds have bought the rights to the beloved Peanuts character Snoopy, and plan to sell Chinese-made stuffed dolls to the punters over the next few weeks.

To keep you coming back for more (beagles, not the 'food'), they have 16 different Snoopy characters to choose from - from a fireman beagle to a chef.

And hopefully, as a special treat for locals, they'll also do a sniffer dog Snoopy.