On our recent trip west, in the pretty village of Mundaring in the Perth Hills, we found this delightful CWA meeting hall. Could the artistic ladies in the local CWA produce a similar thing here?

Any Casino people wondering how their Oz Day ambassador, Paralympic swimmer Brendan Burkett, coped with the amputation of his leg quickly disappeared when their amiable guest twisted his leg around and turned it into a handy support for a stubby of beer.

Our photographer, Bovine Division, came back with sore feet on Monday, after spending 30 minutes running round the CBD in search of a bull which had escaped from the Lismore saleyards (we didn't tell him what happens there - honest!). Perhaps he was leaving town because dairy deregulation has ruined his prospects. Alas it seems the bull was unable to find a parking spot (we suspected he was heading for the china shop in Keen Street...) in town and left before it could be found. No-one else could find it either and it remains on the loose. But it did raise the idea that Lismore could perhaps become the Pamplona of the Southern Hemisphere

We pass on this fraternal warning for anyone who takes their mutt for a wander along Tallow Beach in Byron. Concerned owners down the Bay way claim that the proposed Arakwal National Park will extend to the low tide mark from Cosy Corner to Tallow Creek, thus preventing the traditional access by dogs onto Tallow Beach The alternative is a $500 fine. There's a Public Meeting this Saturday, February 3, from 2pm at the Byron Bay Community Centre, followed by a protest march down Jonson Street. For details, phone 6685 7516.

Just in case you've got some romantic notion in your head after watching one to many episodes of Survivor, we offer the following thoughts from Cast Away star Tom Hanks. "If you've been alone for four years and you haven't had music, or a shower, or something cold in your mouth, I don't think you are going to sit and ponder the beauty of nature or enjoy a new-found spirit of humanity, you're going to want a slice of pizza, a hot shower, and a conversation with a girl," the contemporary Crusoe said. And probably hold the pineapple.

Today, petrol prices will go up 1.7 cents a litre thanks to the Federal Government tax rort known as the Fuel Excise Levy. The PM is hitting the airwaves arguing that all things considered... at the end of the day... in the fullness of time... that the Government decided it was better to keep the windfall (brought on by the inflation spike caused by the GST) and spend it on the country roads funding program. What he didn't mention is that the excise will raise $500 million a year, but they're only putting $300m pa into roads - a profit of $200 million. It seems to have become a standard formula for the Federal Government. After cutting $5 billion from R&D and education, they released its Innovation Policy this week, promising $3 billion over five years. Perhaps the remaining $2 billion was needed to pay Ministerial phone card bills.

Editing last week's page, we cut one line too many from out tribute to Brian Slapp. We meant to tell you the anti-smoking ad featuring the sponge filled with tar was his idea.

We can only sympathise with anyone who lip reads and has been watching Shane Warne on television. Suddenly everyone hears what that f@#*&! tosspot has been mouthing in front of the camera for years, and the world is up in arms. We had to laugh at coy media reports of "bad language". We thought that's what Jeff Fenech used when he said "I love youse all."