Square Eyes

Television Reviews

Movie of the week: Three Kings, NBN, Sat, 10pm:

This isn't your average war movie, although the plot is a familiar refrain - four Gulf War soldiers can't resist the chance to flog bullion left behind by Saddam's troops after Iraq 1. George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, Ice Cube and Spike Jonze ham it up in this blow-em-up action thriller, which has an amusing satirical edge amidst the violence, and plenty of contemporary resonances.

AFL Grand Final, Ten, Sat, 2.30pm:

Well, the Swannies have got Barry Hall for the big showdown, so they'd better win now. Cheers for the red and white!

Gladiator, Ten, Sat, 8.30pm:

Fallen general Gluteus Maximus (Our Russ) wields a sword like a hotel phone, seeking to settle scores with more vengeance than Mark Latham. Now there's a thought to raise money for the Bunnies! Latham v Crowe, Redfern Oval, with Joaquin Phoenix as ref. A classy cast and Ridley Scott's excellent direction deliver an excellent skirt and sandals epic.

Just Married, Prime, Sun, 8.30pm:

Demi Moore's toy boy Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy are star-crossed lovers, newly married, from opposite sides of the tracks, her posh parents are disapproving... yadda, yadda, yadda. It's supposed to be a slapstick comedy, but it's just lame, dumb and lazy.

Bodily Harm, ABC, Sun, 9.20pm:

Mitch (Timothy Spall) is about to turn 44 when his life begins to fall apart - his job, marriage and family. This two-part series is darkly comic as things go horribly awry for a seemingly happy suburban family.

The Experiment, SBS, Sun, 9.30pm:

This German thriller is almost as excruciating to watch as A Clockwork Orange, which it resembles. Based on the infamous 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment, it follows 20 volunteers assigned as guards and prisoners who descend into an increasingly vicious circle in which even the boffins in charge lose control. It's reminiscent of Fight Club and a frightening, dark, ultra-violent insight into the human condition.

Private Warriors, SBS, Tues, 8.30pm:

There are more private military contractors in Iraq than allied troops, looking after supply lines, running US bases and protecting diplomats and generals (you'd think they'd trust the soldiers they command for that job...). It's big, big business and the guards make three times more than a soldier.

The Great Escape, SBS, Weds, 7.30pm:

The real great escape wasn't the Steve McQueen version. Some 76 Allied POWs - they had intended to get 600 out, but were spotted - made an audacious escape bid through tunnels, forcing the Nazis to divert thousands of troops to their recapture. 61 years later, archaeologists visit the site with some of the veterans to get an understanding of their amazing achievement.