Psychologically Speaking

with Stewart Hase

A time to act

I made a decision many years ago to avoid noxious people as much as possible. This decision was brought about by the growing awareness that noxious people would drain the energy from me without me even being aware of it. I'd be left feeling like a limp lettuce. Sometimes I noticed that the other effect these people had on me would be agitation. And that would lead to my familiar lettuce type state eventually. It took me a while to get over the urge to fight back, somehow rescue these people from themselves. It has been much easier to simply avoid them and make rather more sensible choices about who I want to interact with and, more importantly, who I want to take seriously. If you're not careful noxious people can make you start thinking that their view of the world is right. However, sometimes it is not that easy to just walk away.

I was reminded about this only recently when I heard yet another story (I hear a new story about every week or so) about workplace bullying and harassment. Despite the fact that bullying behaviour is now illegal and organisations can be fined large amounts of money for breaches, bullies are alive and well in our workplaces. Bullies have become rather more careful, however, in the face of greater awareness within organisations that people have rights and that they can act.

We regularly see the fallout from the actions of these obnoxious people in psychology and medical practice. Like many abused people the victims become increasingly anxious and then depressed in the face of a sense of hopelessness and powerlessness. Sadly, this is often reinforced when others in the organisation, with the real power to act and who know what the bully is up to, do nothing. They sweep it under the carpet, make excuses, turn a blind eye. Paradoxically and inevitably the victim gets victimised, especially (as all whistleblowers learn) if he or she complains.

Mostly it's about power. Bullies draw their power by oppressing others. It seems likely to me that bullies have very fragile personalities, a very poor sense of who they are, poor self-control and are very self-centred. I'm not sure that bullies ever experience real happiness but they get some satisfaction from making other people unhappy, exerting their power. The fact that bullies can be very subtle and careful about how, when and where they bully others suggests that they are quite devious and determined in their behaviour. In other words it is no accident and is often well planned and something of a game. Sadly it is a game that has dreadful consequences for the victims and, inevitable, for the workplace.

As in all abusive situations the answer for both victims and those who are in a position to do something is to act.