Shaggy Dog Comments...

Our deepest commiserations go to the National Australia Bank, which posted a $3.2 billion profit, down 20 per cent, leading NAB boss John Stewart to declare it a "poor result" and "unacceptable". He blamed "a very complex and costly business structure" and poor compliance processes. Of course having rogue traders lose $360 million in foreign exchange trading doesn't help. Ironically, NAB shares went up, while the other big three banks Westpac, ANZ and the Commonwealth, announced increased profits, only to have their share price fall.

Taking a trip down memory lane this week, Shaggy was reading stories about the Lismore flood levee and Memorial Baths redevelopment from around this time just three years ago. Back then, the cost of the levee had jumped from $10 million to $13.3m, causing some consternation, while the pool had a price tag of $6 million - up $2 million on what the then-mayor Bob Gates was prepared to spend. So back then, the price tag was $19.3m, but now the bill is close to $28m. Just as well Lismore Council isn't owned by Donald Trump, or right now, he'd be telling them "You're fired!"

Be careful if someone calls saying they're from the Life Saver Rescue Helicopter and trying to sell you something. Rescue chopper fundraising manager Howard Atkinson says it's a scam - the organisation doesn't do telemarketing.

Lismore Council general manager Paul O'Sullivan has been doing his best to get councillors to focus on policy making rather than sticking their unwanted beaks into 'operational' matters. But Cr Frank Swientek couldn't help himself, confessing at Tuesday night's Council meeting that he'd been interfering in operational issues the previous night. How? Well, he noticed during Monday's downpour that the Hollingworth Creek bridge (he mistakenly called it Hollingsworth! There's no 'S' Frank.) was flooded, because of a blocked drain. He got out his "trusty implement" and unblocked it. To get back to what councillors should be doing he asked if Council had a policy for unblocking drains. Err... no.

Speaking of policy, former prime ministerial speechwriter Don Watson wrote Death Sentence, a book about the tortured language of politicians, bureaucrats and management last year. Fed up with building their capacity to develop synergies with key stakeholders, people wrote to him to engage in a strategic partnership and commit to the challenge of resolving the issue of impactful language. The result is a new book called Watson's Dictionary of Weasel Words, Contemporary Clichés, Cant & Management Jargon. It also has a wesbite, www. weaselwords.com.au, where you can dob in perpetrators of language crimes. Our first nomination is Lismore Council, which approved an "Information gathering policy - insurance claims" this week. The report contained the following sentence: "Using the Best Practice Manual on Information Gathering, developed by Statewide Mutual, an Incident Flow Chart and Internal Investigation report have been in use for a number of years to ensure consistency and completeness of the investigation process."

We think what all this means is that if you trip on the footpath and want to sue Council, they're officially allowed to go and find out how it happened.

Days of thunder

This extraordinary photo of lighting in Alstonville was taken by local university student Dave Ellem late at night in January 2003. It's so impressive that it features in the Bureau of Meteorology's 2005 Australian Weather Calender, which went on sale last week.

Dave - aka Mr October for his pic - is a bit of a storm chaser nowadays, despite the fact that he has a healthy concern for lighting and is "quick to take shelter". The Wollongbar resident says he became hooked on weather after the Casino storm that brought baseball-sized hail three years ago.

The calendar costs $16, including postage, and is available on 1300 798 789, or at www.bom.gov.au