Square Eyes

Television Reviews

Movie of the week, Repo Man, Ten, Thurs, midnight:

Just in case you're getting a little bored with the handball or women's water polo final, you might enjoy this wild and unpredictable 20-year-old cult flick. Emilio Estevez is the young repossession grasshopper to Harry Dean Stanton's mentor. Essentially, they steal cars, but there's something weird in the boot of one auto, and it could be from outer space. Snorting a few equine growth hormones, courtesy of the cycling team, will help get you in the mood for this bizarre comic drama.

Terminator 2, Ten, Fri, 8.30pm:

In round two, Arnie turns into the good cyborg as Robert Patrick's T1000 turns up as the evil dude masquerading as a copper. Great special effects, ripping biffo and a battle to save humanity make this a rollicking sci fi romp.

Let's get Skase, NBN, Sat, 9.20pm:

This doomed Australian comedy has its moments, but overall, it's lumbering and clumsy. The idea of nabbing the failed 80s entrepreneur, who'd fled broke investors for the comfort of Spain, was popular at the time, but he carked it, beating them to the punch-line. Five Aussie blokes bungle their way through the kidnap attempt.

Big Momma's House, NBN, Sun, 8.30pm:

This is the sort of lame cop-buddy flicks the Yanks churn out with the creativity of a $2 Taiwanese watch. An FBI agent (Martin Lawrence) stakes out a house in the hunt for a bank robber by pretending to be a Bible-bashing overweight grandmother. Of course he falls for the gal (Nia Long) with the dodgy connections, etc etc. If a rubbish romance and anal humour tickle your fancy, go for it.

Witchcraze, ABC, Sun, 10.15pm:

Shame really that we don't worry 'bout witches no more - they could be a useful Government fear campaign in the current faux election. The witch craze of 1589-91 resulted in the deaths of over a thousand people, mainly women. Driving the brutality was 24-year-old King James VI of Scotland, the future English king. This doco is no Monty Python spoof. It's rather brutal, based on historical accounts and recreated a little too vividly, along with 'interviews' with the leading figures of the era.

The Long Kiss Goodnight, NBN, Mon, 8.30pm:

There's nothing like discovering your average suburban mum (Geena Davis), is actually a ruthless assassin with amnesia. She heads off to figure out her past with a reluctant Samuel L Jackson in tow. It's silly, but with tongue-in-cheek, despite some grisly moments.

The 39 Steps, ABC, Mon, 12.20am:

It's amazing to realise this Hitchcock classic is now 70 years old. The director's distinctive style was to launch a thousand thrillers. An innocent Canadian (Robert Donat) is mistakenly embroiled in a spy chase in pre-war London. It's a wonderful lesson in film-making, but also a great yarn.

Olympics, Prime, Weds, midnight:

The fairytale of this Olympics would be Jana Pittman, knee-willing, winning the women's 400m hurdles. Fingers crossed.

Eagle & Evans, ABC, Thurs, 9pm:

An Australian sketch-sitcom about two warm-up guys and general dogsbodies on a TV variety show. The keep pitching ideas to the host to no avail, in this mix of social satire, surprising cameos and simply bizarre moments.