Square Eyes

Television Reviews

Movie of the week: Chicken Run, NBN, Sat, 7.30pm:

This funny claymation is a witty homage to The Great Escape with chickens. Rocky the rooster (voiced by Mel Gibson), leads a motley crew of hens to freedom, escaping their future as pie filling. It's a delight for all ages, but with some scary moments.

The Closet, SBS, Sun, 8.30pm:

Francois (Daniel Autiel) is a boring accountant who's facing the sack from his job at a condom factory, til a neighbour suggests he start a rumour that he's gay. It's a smart sitcom, with Gerard Depardieu as his homophobic boss.

Kiss of the Dragon, Prime, Sun, 8.30pm:

Like most martial arts movies, this action thriller is full of bad dialogue, hopeless acting and plenty of biffo for anyone with a short attention span. Jet Li plays a Chinese copper set to Paris, where he lands in a viper's nest of corruption and gets tangled up with Bridget Fonda's drug-addled prostitute.

Meet the Parents, NBN, Sun, 8.30pm:

Ben Stiller and Robert de Niro face off as suitor trying to pop the question and nutty retired drill sergeant protecting his daughter's (Teri Polo) interests in this amusing comedy. As expected with a parent-in-law meeting, things go horribly wrong and only get worse, and assuming you find humiliation funny, there are plenty of laughs.

Sunrise, Prime, weekdays, 6am:

The political circus is turned into a reality show, with Seven paying for Senate candidates to contest the federal election. Among the 'finalists' is Byron Bay environment training-consultant Kim Achjian. Why don't we just save time and elect the winner of Big Brother prime minister.

Blood, Sweat and Cheers, ABC, Tues, 8pm:

Doco-maker David Goldie spent 10 years tracking the Olympic progress of 100 elite Australian athletes. This week, hurdler and duel Olympian Kyle Vander-Kuyp, is fighting recent poor form and dismissed as a faded champion. His devoted mother Pat is backing him every step of the way. It's a moving examination of commitment.

Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, Prime, Tues, 9.30pm:

Gordon 'f#@%ing' Ramsay is one of England's best f#@%ing chefs, with a f#@%ing tendency to use a verb as an adjective in his fruity f#@%ing conversation. But when you see the disastrous restaurants he's trying to turn around, you can understand why. A fascinating show with some great insights into the food industry.

Inheritance: A fisherman's story, SBS, Thurs, 8.30pm:

Four years ago an Australian gold mine in Romania poisoned the Tisza River with 120,000 tons of cyanide. Doco-maker Peter Hegedus was in Hungary when it happened and tells the story of one fish, Balazs, who travels to Australia, to put a human face to the disaster. It's story of hardship and hardship that leaves you pondering the callous bastardry of corporations.

Comedy Inc. NBN, Thurs, 8.30pm:

Amidst the tedium, stupidity and narcissism that passes for entertainment and politics, at least this comedy satire is merciless in its send ups of the twits infecting our TV screens.