Square Eyes

Television Reviews

Movie of the week, Mask of Zorro, Ten, Sun, 8.30pm

Sure it's not rocket science, but it zips along with wit and élan, with Anthony Hopkins playing the fading swashbuckler eager to pass on the mantle to oafish grasshopper Antonio Banderas. It's a funny, action-packed romp brimming with great stunts, swordfights, special effects and the buxom talents of Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Someone like you, Prime, Fri, 8.30pm

This fluffy and predictable romantic comedy is at least redeemed by its charming leads. Jane (Ashley Judd) is miffed at being dumped for the umpteenth time and pens a bitter rave for a women's mag, comparing men with animals. It's a hit. Hugh Jackman makes nice eye candy for the gals.

Fat Girls and Feeders, SBS, Fri, 10pm

This unsettling doco explores a bizarre sexual fetish where men get turned on by making a woman fatter. Meet Mark, who's "growing" Gina. She desperately wants to please him in this strange collusion. It almost costs Gina her life when her weight tops 380kg. Not for the faint-hearted.

Posh Nosh, ABC, Fri, 10.15pm

If you've had a gutful of food porn and cooking shows, this spoof is the perfect antidote. Richard E Grant plays a snooty toff with a bubbly wife who mangles the English language as she serves up lashings of luverly jubberly rubbish.

A Civil Action, NBN, Sun, 8.30pm

A decent courtroom drama, despite the usual scenario of cynical, dodgy lawyer (John Travolta) who redeems himself by going into bat for the little people against shifty corporate giants, this time because they've dumped toxic waste in the water supply, giving the kids cancer. It's actually based (loosely) on a true story and thankfully, the drama is saved from getting too John Grisham. Robert Duvall is equally good as the opposing lawyer and a decent cast includes Harry Dean Stanton and James Gandolfini.

Saddam's Revenge, SBS, Tues, 8.30pm

During the Iraqi leader's despotic reign, his terror state was enforced by Sunni Muslims. They enjoyed a privileged position and their fierce tribal loyalty helps them maintain the ongoing attacks against US forces. A dour doco that explains why Iraq remains a basket case.

Deadly Enemies, ABC, Weds, 9.30pm

Remember the British weapons inspector Dr David Kelly, whose suicide sparked a major inquiry into Tony Blair's government? This is his final interview in a chilling doco on the Cold War race for biological weapons. If nothing else, it seems Saddam had a lot to learn about WMD's from the pros in the West.

Catalyst: The Atkins Diet, ABC, Thurs, 8pm

A two-part special on the controversial and famous diet which suggests that eating fat will make you thin. Scientists have bickered for a long time about its merits. This investigation suggests it does work - though in ways no-one had actually considered.