Square Eyes

Television Reviews

Movie of the week, Bridget Jones's Diary, Ten, Sun, 8.30pm

Millions of 30-something women suffering post-modern existential relationship angst relished Helen Fielding's best-selling novel detailing a year in the diet and grim romantic life of a chubby single chick (Renee Zellweger) in the London publishing industry. She's torn between her charming, sexy boss (Hugh Grant), who's really a cad and a dour childhood friend (Colin Firth), who thinks she's "verbally incontinent". It's funny, if fluffy, with plenty of moments that strike a chord with anyone who's been single, and hints strongly at Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

Strictly Dancing, ABC, Fri, 8pm

Paul McDermott picks up where Paul Mercurio left off - hosting a 16 week competition in which four couples compete each week in a range of dance styles, including hip hop, jazz and funk. It's quaint, if a tad dull.

Gladiator - the director's cut, Ten, Sat, 8.30pm

No doubt director Ridley Scott lets Gluteus Maximus (Our Russ) read some of his poetry before those who are about to die salute the Commode (Joaquin Phoenix, acting like he's been in a nightclub with late brother River). The rest is rollicking biffo in leather skirts, with a classy cast.

Handle with Care, SBS, Sun, 7pm

This amazing doco is somewhat harrowing if the sight of children suffering causes distress. NETS is a specialist medical team that flies mobile intensive care to sick children across NSW. It's inspiring and they deserve our undying gratitude.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Prime, Sun, 8.30pm

An Indiana Jones-like video game for hormone-infested teenage boys becomes a comic romp, with kooky, pouting Angelina Jolie passing herself off as the adventurous, sex-object heroine Lara, the British aristocrat. The special effects are good, but it's as inane and repetitive as a video game when you're stuck on the beginner's level.

Swordfish, NBN, Sun, 8.30pm

Colin Powell's son launches an inquiry minutes after Janet Jackson bares her breast, while Dad gets away scot-free a year after lying to the UN about the "facts" of WMDs. Meanwhile, Hollywood pays Halle Berry $500,000 to gratuitously whip her knockers out in this egregious rubbish. John Travolta plays a criminal mastermind in an illogical, amoral thriller that has something to do with cyberspace. Hugh Jackman plays the dodgy computer hacker with the hots for Berry.

War feels like war, SBS, Tues, 8.30pm

More left wing rubbish about the few journalists who refused to be part of the American military cheer squad among the 3000 who gathered to cover the Iraq war. There's the brutal reality of death and then there's the government spin that passes for self-righteousness. Sadly, we seem to prefer the latter.