Shaggy Dog Comments...

Further to last week's mention of the English reality TV show I'm a celebrity, get me out of here! being filmed in the Murwillumbah hinterland (or jungle, as the easily excited Poms call it) a reader has let us know that among the Australian 'wildlife' Johnny Rotten & co are dealing with are 12 ostriches (!) from Austrick Park Ostriches at Tregeagle. We wonder if anyone's warned them about the dangers of Drop Bears.

At last week's Ballina Council meeting during a debate on a policy for "managing unacceptable behaviours" councillor Margaret Howes was waxing lyrical about the joys of being a Gold Coast councillor - a $69,000 salary, an office and secretary, $5000 to hand out to ratepayers, plus assorted other lurks and perks. She compared it with Ballina, where eight councillors share a meeting room. While ratepayers would no doubt be pleased with the council's frugality - Cr Howes wanted more - it led Cr Peter Moore to interject with "don't you know the fifth commandment is Thou Shalt Not Covet". With the elections just two months away Cr Avis Kennedy chimed in with "You won't have to worry for long Margaret", to which her rival replied ominously "We'll see Avis".

The wit and levity continued, despite the fact that a number of antsy councillors seemed keen to bolt from the starter's gate and begin the election grandstanding. Noting that the ICAC report "Corruption Matters" had been tabled at the meeting, Cr Howes asked for a copy to take home.

"Put it in a brown paper bag," said Cr Alan Rich.

Mind you, it wasn't Cr Rich's day. He'd put a bit of effort into a proposal to allow TV and radio journos to record the meeting. An NBN cameraman even came along and spoke in favour, but it failed to inspire anyone to second the motion.

Cr Rich also wanted Council to tape the meetings - and went as far as envisioning a brave new world where fascinated ratepayers (no doubt bringing their own popcorn) would be able to fill the council building for live broadcasts, or sit at home watching proceedings on the Internet. But he met with fierce opposition, with Cr Howes "worried about defamation" (given some of her comments, she has good reason to be) and mayor Phil Silver worried that it was a "retrograde step" that would "stifle debate".

"I loath the thought that an off-the-cuff comment could be taken out of context," Cr Silver said.

Lismore's been recording its meetings for many years, and given how length at which some councillors waffle on, we can assure the mayor it's unlikely to stop any councillor climbing aboard their soapbox. The proposal was defeated 3/5, with only Crs Rich, Wright and Perkins in favour. Shaggy's advice to any elected representative worried about what they might say is to ensure the brain is engaged before putting the mouth into gear.

If like Shaggy, you were listening to Triple J's hottest 100 on Sunday, the you ended up being cheated just as they got to the No. 1 song. The storm that ripped through the region on Sunday night blacked out the broadcast just before 7pm as presenter Adam Spencer was getting ready to announce that once again, an Aussie band had triumphed. For the record, Melbourne group Jet topped the chart with 'Are you gonna be my girl?'

Lismore's Australia Day ambassador John Coutis is a bit of a character. He's got no legs, but that didn't stop him becoming the first Aussie with a major disability to play first grade cricket (we hope he wasn't cheating on the LBW appeals). He also doesn't mind playing the odd prank, like the time he buried himself in the sand at the beach, then asked a few passing kids to help dig him out, as he recounted on Australia Day. The kids obliged, but got the shock of their life when they yanked him out, and they fled. A few minutes later, they were back and digging in the sand. John was relieved to know he hadn't given them too much of a fright... then one of the young girls came over to him and said "don't worry mister, we'll find your legs".

A Tenterfield copper, will attempt to break a golfing world record next week in the name of charity.

Sergeant Troy Grant, aka Rusty Gate, is trying to break the Guinness World Record for playing the most holes of golf in a week using a cart (currently 1728 - that's 247 holes a day), held by fellow officer Sgt Jeffrey Garland.

The money raised is for local teenager Ben Roberts who suffered spinal injuries in a BMX accident last year. Ben, 16, is currently receiving treatment at Brisbane and the money go towards helping him get home.

Rusty said he'd be using the strength and determination of character shown by Ben in his recuperation to spur him on.

The World Record Challenge tees off at 11am next Tuesday, February 3 is followed by a charity golf day on Friday, February 13.

Of course there's been a little handwringing over the fact that the ALP has a ticket in the March Lismore council elections. It reminded Shaggy of a little 60-page read, titled Reviving Labor's Agenda, from federal opposition leader Mark Latham, in 1990. He was on Liverpool Council (the one in deep trouble over the Bulldogs development deal) back then and while whatever he was trying to say was lost in management and economic gobbledygook, Shaggy was nonetheless struck by his closing argument that what Labor councillors really need to do is relinquish power.

"The biggest change for the ALP will be to de-centralise power, both within and outside the party. Only then will Labor politicians understand how real power comes from giving power away," he wrote. Sadly, he makes no mention of flying pigs.

University students worried about how they're going to pay their HECS bill might like to turn to an English lass for inspiration. Rosie Reid, 18, has struck upon a way to raise much-needed cash - she's auctioning off her virginity on the online site eBay. She's studying for a Bachelor of Science degree at the University of Bristol, where Prime Minister Tony Blair's son Euan is also a student according to amusing English Sunday tabloid News of the World.

Within a few days, she'd received 400 bids topping $20,000 before the site removed her ad, which said "Will bung in free massage if you are any good."

Mind you, it depends on your definition of virgin since she's a lesbian and has been in a relationship for some time. Her offer follows hot on the heels of a 24-year-old American Cathy Cobblerson, offered her virginity for $150,000 on eBay to pay off credit card bills. That's a rather steep price since it sounds like she's already been thoroughly screwed by Visa.

Meet Eddie the Aussie

Edgardo Fernandez with his wife Mylene, son Patrick (18 months) and daughter Claudia (3) after becoming an Australian citizen during the Australia Day Citizenship Ceremony on Monday.

After more than two years living in Australia and five years of waiting, Edgardo Fernandez from the Philippines is now a fully-fledged Aussie citizen.

Edgardo, who lives in Goonellabah with his wife and two children, and works at Booyong Meatworks, was one of dozens of people who took part in local citizenship ceremonies on Australia Day.

"It's an easy life here compared to the Philippines and there are so many opportunities, plus it's a very clean and beautiful country," Edgardo said. "Sometimes communication is still hard, but it's getting easier every day. It already feels like home."

The first time Edgardo applied for Australian citizenship in 1999, he was rejected. But he persevered, taking his case to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal, where the decision was reversed.

"I want to thank the Australian Government for welcoming me and letting me be part of this community," Edgardo said. "I just want to raise my kids good, give them the best I can and teach them how to be good Australians."

Asked about the biggest differences he discovered from his former homeland, Edgardo was quick to laugh.

"We don't have kangaroos."

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